Okay, I go in and out of obsessions or fixations if you will. So, as of late, my addiction is with drag items. From pashmina shawls to stilettos, I have to have them all. No, I am not that crazy that I have been able to afford the $500 louis vuitton’s but I have bought size 14, yes size 14, $50 heels.
Other items I have bought include white gogo boots, the classic black dress, numerous wigs (current collection 7 wigs and growing), tights, costumes (shipmate girl lol), and etc.
I have also spent probably over 300 in the past 2 months on make up–ranging from primer to eye-shadows–sources include Avon, pharmacies, Sephora, and Amazon.com). OMG, how annoying though is the duties–i think i spend almost 25% to 50% on top of the items due to the duty fees–I am serious, why can’t businesses benefit from NAFTA free trade and we can’t. Or, why did I have to be so tall that I can’t fit into standard women’s shoes and the such. Jeez.
Wish list? I want some breast forms…Yes, some falsies, for my dragging cause at the moment I go flat chested when I am dragging.
I have so been inspired by Rupaul’s Drag Race but it has also shown me that I am an amateur, when it comes to dragging. You ladies need to teach me a thing or two about make up (including contouring) and also a bit of sowing (so I can make my own outfits and not need to spend so much more for plus size fashions). I am like a size 16 in woman’s clothing due to my height lol.
Anyways, the feeling of dragging is so therapeutic. I have always wanted to be a girl (life would be so easy since I am attracted to men and love to get pretty and pamper myself with woman’s things). Even typing that thought in parentheses makes me sigh, cause I feel like I deserve it cause its what I am not that I am trying to be a woman. Like, I should have been a woman. Like really, my insides are no different than any Jill, but got made me a Jack on the outside. So sad.
Anyways, I am glad to see that their are many other like me. However, I do sometimes feel like bad about it still cause it feels as though its a disorder–like as though I have given into a mental illness. God help us all I am so scared–I do not know where my life will go, how to do the drag thing and not alleniate others and/or be unsuccessful other aspects of my life. Le Sighhhh.

How interesting, I started this entry happy like, OMG i bought these things and I feel fabulous wearing them–but its a reminder of my sad position too. I feel jipped you know. Like, why God? I know you make everyone go through obstacles in life, but mine is sooo difficult. Yes Yes I know–for everyone their problems are the biggest and you cannot lose perspective–ie. people in 3rd world nations starving and living in danger of being bombed or killed–but hmph…I just see the grass as being greener on their side too…I mean, people in India, have always had trannys known as hijras and they are accepted–should i go there and be one of them? People in africa may be starving but then they do not have time to pollute their own heads and mess it up and have all these mind based issues–like mind over matter–some would say its less suffering to have a physical situation to a mental situation of failure. like i know, from maslow’s hierarchy of needs, next time i have the fever the only thing on my mind will be God make me better and sorry for being so ungrateful that time i was blogging about my shopaholic drag and tranny bullshit….but hmm, ungrateful human beings aren’t we…sorry Goddie….don’t mean to be so negative. just get tired of this shit sometimes. meh, live goes on….Let me go slip on some guyliner and lip-gloss…make me feel better

Ps. here’s a video on how to wear your pashmina scarf (found it while, looking for a picture of a scarf)—such a cute video–made me smile and forget the issues described above.